


Promise Me

by Bluekit



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, M/M, Self-Harm, this was self-indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 20:59:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8939083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluekit/pseuds/Bluekit
Summary: While it may not seem like it to others, Tsukishima cares for Yamaguchi more than he'd like anyone to know. He'd do anything to make Yamaguchi happy even if that meant having a serious discussion neither boy is ready for.





	

**Author's Note:**

> It's me once again, projecting my feelings/problems onto fictional characters. Poor Yams.  
> WARNING: This story mentions the subject of self-harm! Please avoid reading if it could trigger you.

The first time Tsukishima discovered what Yamaguchi did, they were thirteen. He hadn’t said a word when he quietly slipped into Yamaguchi’s room, unannounced, and saw the bloody mess the freckled-boy had made of his thighs. Both boys froze and didn’t speak for several moments. Eventually, Tsukishima clicked his tongue and disappeared from the room for a second before coming back with a damp towel. He didn’t breathe a word to Yamaguchi as he carefully helped the smaller boy clean up. 

From then on, it became an agreement that neither would speak of it. Yamaguchi didn’t try to hide it from Tsukishima and Tsukishima made sure to be there for Yamaguchi whenever he was needed. He didn’t speak of it to anyone else, especially Yamaguchi’s parents after the boy had pleaded with him not to. After all, it was Yamaguchi’s secret to keep. All Tsukishima could do was give his support. Tsukishima was always there to help Yamaguchi clean up, to hold him as the other broke down in his arms, and to offer his support through sighs and gentle touches; however, Tsukishima was aware this couldn’t go on forever.

It was when Tsukishima held a crying Yamaguchi to his chest once again after a particularly bad day, that he knew he had to say something. 

“Yamaguchi, I wish you wouldn’t do that,” Tsukishima said softly, pressing his cheek against Yamaguchi’s hair. They sat on Yamaguchi’s bed, Yamaguchi sitting on Tsukishima’s lap with his legs wrapped around the taller boy. Tsukishima carefully held Yamaguchi to his chest letting the smaller boy freely cry until he quieted.

Yamaguchi hiccupped and tightened his grip on Tsukishima’s shirt. “What don’t you want me to do?”

“You know…when you…” Tsukishima refrained from sighing at Yamaguchi’s question.

“When I hurt myself?”

“Yeah.” Tsukishima gently rubbed Yamaguchi’s back. 

Yamaguchi’s face twisted and he worried his bottom lip. Tsukishima had never mentioned anything of the sort before. Obviously, Yamaguchi knew Tsukishima didn’t approve of what he did to himself (why would anyone?), but the blond had never voiced his thoughts on it. 

“It helps me cope with things,” he eventually said.

“It’s not a healthy way to cope,” Tsukishima replied. 

“I know.” Yamaguchi sighed and rubbed at his face, removing any trace that he had been crying before. The two fell into a silence. Tsukishima continued rubbing Yamaguchi’s back while Yamaguchi buried his face further into Tsukishima’s chest. He loosened his grip on Tsukishima’s shirt and dropped his hands into his lap where he began to nervously fiddle with them. “Are you mad at me, Tsukki?”

“No.”

“Are you upset?”

“Yeah, kind of.”

“Oh.” Yamaguchi’s voice lowered and he blinked rapidly to keep tears from forming in his eyes. “Sorry, Tsukki.”

“I’m not upset with you, Yamaguchi. Just at your actions.” Tsukishima squeezed Yamaguchi tightly to him in an attempt to comfort him. 

Yamaguchi took in a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “I’m sorry.”

“I just really wish you wouldn’t do that.”

“I know.” Yamaguchi tugged at the hem of his shirt and took in another deep breath to calm himself. 

“Then stop doing it.” Tsukishima tightly wrapped his arms around Yamaguchi’s waist, pulling the smaller boy further onto his lap. Yamaguchi slumped against Tsukishima’s body and sighed through his nose.

“I want to…but it’s not that easy.” 

“I know, but it’s not healthy for you to keep doing this.” Tsukishima, while he would never admit it directly aloud, was beyond extremely concerned for Yamaguchi. He didn’t like how Yamaguchi would hurt himself and act like it helped him cope with any stress or problems he was dealing with at the time. After doing some research online, he found self-harming only temporarily fixed the problem, but did much more damage in the long run. While others might not see it, Tsukishima deeply cared for Yamaguchi. He couldn’t ignore the situation any longer.

“I understand.” Yamaguchi clenched his fists in his lap. “I understand yet I can’t stop. I’ve tried, you know I’ve tried.” He screwed his eyes shut and bit the inside of his cheek. 

“I know, Yamaguchi, I know.” Tsukishima thickly swallowed as he tried to communicate his thoughts with Yamaguchi as best as he could. “Maybe you need to seek professional help to stop.”

“Seek professional help?” 

“Talk to your parents about what’s being going on. See if you can see a therapist or councilor or…I don’t know. Someone who can help.”

Yamaguchi furiously shook his head. “No. My parents can’t know.” Tears welled in his eyes. “They’d be so disappointed and upset with me. They wouldn’t understand. I don’t fully understand why I do what I do so how could I even begin to tell them?”

Tsukishima suddenly pulled back and held onto Yamaguchi’s shoulders. Yamaguchi’s head snapped up and he made eye contact with Tsukishima; Tsukishima’s gaze was intense and Yamaguchi couldn’t look away if he tried. “Yamaguchi, would you say I’m the most judgmental person you know?”

Yamaguchi blinked in confusion. “Um, Tsukki?”

“Answer honestly.”

“Well, I suppose. Not in a bad way!” Yamaguchi held up his hands in front of him as his eyes widened.

“So, if the most judgmental person you know doesn’t judge you for what you do to yourself, do you honestly think your parents would react badly?”

“Tsukki- “

“They wouldn’t. They’d be more disappointed in themselves for not being able to be there for you when you needed them. They’d be more upset with themselves for making you feel as if you couldn’t talk about what’s going on. Don’t think so poorly of them.”

Tears freely spilt from Yamaguchi’s eyes as he wrapped his arms around Tsukishima and clung to the blond as if he life depended on it. “Tsukki,” he blubbered between sharp intakes of breath. “Why do you always have to say the coolest things?”

Tsukishima ran a hand through Yamaguchi’s hair, rest his chin on top of the brown-haired boy’s head. “Because if I don’t, who else will?” 

There was a pause in the conversation as Yamaguchi tried to regain control over himself. He took in deep breaths, suppressing his hiccups, and pressed his face into the crook of Tsukishima’s neck. Tsukishima winced at the feeling of wet tears against his skin, but didn’t say anything. He let Yamaguchi calm himself down before speaking again. 

“Promise me you’ll talk to your parents in the morning.” Tsukishima twirled the ends of Yamaguchi’s hair between his fingertips.

“I promise,” Yamaguchi whispered. “I don’t know how to tell them or where to begin.”

Tsukishima shrugged. “I can’t tell you what to say. You’ll figure it out.”

Yamaguchi tapped each of his fingers on Tsukishima’s back. “I’m scared.”

“You’ll be fine. I promise.” 

Yamaguchi leaned even more against Tsukishima and sighed. “You’re the best, Tsukki.”

Tsukishima smiled to himself. While he knew that he himself couldn’t fully help Yamaguchi onto the path of recovery, he was going to be there for Yamaguchi every step of the way. Yeah, he cared a lot more for Yamaguchi then he let on. Yeah, it was hard for him to communicate his feelings for the freckled boy at times; however, he made sure Yamaguchi knew this through other means. 

“Shut up Yamaguchi.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I wrote this at 1am so I apologize for any mistakes; I needed to get this out of my system, whoops. I hope you enjoyed! :)


End file.
